"Parents Feel Fear Too, and..."
When I was little, I loved playing with my dolls and pretending I was a mom. I would cook for them, dress them, take care of them, and take them to the doctor.
In my mind, parents were the coolest people. The strong ones, the confident ones, the ones in charge.
They knew what to do. I could not wait to become one.
Last year, that dream came true. I became a mom.
And one thing I realized pretty quickly after that is this:
When I was little, I had the privilege of seeing the strength of parents from the outside. Now I feel the weight of it from the inside.
Back then, I thought strong parents were people who were never afraid.
Now I believe strong parents are people who do feel afraid sometimes, like anybody else, but refuse to let fear lead.
Because it is true that parenting is beautiful, fun, and deeply meaningful. But it is also heavy.
We need the strength, that mental ability, to carry that weight without straining.
When you love a child, decisions feel different. Risks feel different. Responsibility feels different. So yes, fear shows up. Of course it does.
But fear is not meant to be accommodated for too long. It is not meant to be praised, obeyed, or treated like truth.
It is not meant to be hidden either, but it does have to be put in its place. Otherwise, it will not share leadership with you.
It will quickly start leading our lives.
And when fear leads for too long, it begins to cloud everything. It is a silent and disruptive enemy.
I hate it. I hate what it does to people. I hate what it does to families.
I am someone who wants to bring to light the things that keep us from growing.
I believe it is important to talk about what we are afraid of, because naming it is one of the first steps in refusing to give it more power.
I talked to a group of moms the other day, and we started to expose a common fear in motherhood.
I realized that many of the fears I had as a new mom were similar to theirs. It is more common than we think.
But when fear is exposed, we cannot just leave it there and say, “Yeah, that’s something I’m afraid of.”
Strength is shown in choosing to notice it, call it out, expose the lie, and choose truth instead.
The reality is that strong parents feel fear too, but they refuse to let fear make their decisions.
They do not let it set the tone of the home.
They do not let it shape the way their children learn to see the world. Because children learn so much from the atmosphere we create around them. But that is a topic for another newsletter.
And I do not want to raise a child who learns that the world is a place to fear. That is something to unfold in another newsletter too, haha.
I want to raise a child who learns how to face the world with courage and make an impact in it.
And honestly, I want to be that kind of person too.
A mom who notices fear, calls it what it is, and sends it back where it belongs.
A parent who does not give fear the chance to cloud everything else.
The kind of person who responds with courage, truth, and clarity.
So maybe the strength I saw in parents as a little girl was real after all.
I just understand it better now.
It is not a pretending “I am perfect” kind of strength. It is definitely not the absence of fear.
It is the active refusal to let fear take over.
Because strong parents feel fear too. And they do not let fear run their homes.
I have a super exciting announcement to share in two weeks. Subscribers will be the firsts ones to know. :)
Stay tuned!
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Daniela Rajcok
Strong Minds Strong Families
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