The tired cry of an adult
Before a baby learns words, they can still tell you exactly what they want.
WAAAH — “I’m hungry.”
WAAAH — “I’m uncomfortable.”
WAAAH — “I’m tired.”
And the more I pay attention to that, the more I realize adults do the same thing.
We just don’t always call it a cry.
I have to say… I find it honestly incredible, the unique ability parents have to recognize their baby’s cry.
Before I became a mom, I thought it was impossible to know, just by a simple cry, what your baby needed. Now I get it. Lol.
It is possible.
Each cry means something different, and with time, I started to identify what each one sort of meant.
The very first cry I learned to identify in my baby was the tired cry.
Apparently, when a baby is tired, the cry becomes more intense. Their mouth opens wider, and the beginning sound almost resembles a yawn. It is a very loud and proud "HHWUAAAH"
And if the baby passes the window when they should have gone to sleep, they can enter a deeper state of tiredness.
They call it overtired.
And when they get overtired, it becomes much harder to help them fall asleep.
Reflecting on this made me think about us as adults.
We do have a tired cry too.
It does not sound like a loud cry, but it can sound like irritability. Anxiety. Impatience. Sensitivity / insensitivity. Loss of clarity.
Mental Tiredness
Something common I, and I know many adults today, experience is mental tiredness.
Some seasons look a lot different than others. The responsibility can weigh a bit more, and we feel so exhausted.
And look, tiredness is not a sin (is not badge of honor either)
We are human.
Of course we get tired.
But something I’ve noticed is that many of us can recognize our tired cry and yet don't do anything about it.
“Remember to sleep a minimum of 8 hours a night.”
“Protect your sleep. Your sleep matters.”
Yes, and try saying that to a new parent.
Sorry, that was probably a lil too strong.
New parenting is a stretching season. And although the sleep department has been on leave for seven months in my case, of course, when my body gets sleep, it strongly helps.
But the rest I am talking about is the one that starts before we close our eyes.
As adults, we need sleep, but we also need to develop rhythms of rest.
I know it sounds like the title of a Christian woman's devotional, but bear with me.
Rhythms of Rest
Sometimes we cannot control the difficulties.
- The child wakes up at night.
- Work goes through busy seasons.
- Life demands more from us than we expected.
But we can learn how to face that tiredness.
There are the things I tell myself that tend to help me.
I will say this: they are not easy to apply because they are often the exact opposite of what we want to do when we are tired.
And honestly, that is the hard part.
Because when I am tired, discipline is usually the last thing I want.
Tip 1: Put the screen down
Uhhhg, yes. I know.
It’s hard.
When we are tired, the brain wants something fast. It wants dopamine. It wants distraction. Something that pulls us out of the absurd feeling of exhaustion for a moment.
And yes, maybe that reel was funny. Maybe it distracted you.
But many times, all it does is give you a false, temporary boost that disappears quickly.
Simply put:
“A screen can entertain my exhaustion. But it hardly removes it.”
Tip 2: Pause heavy conversations
The worst time to have heavy conversations is after a long day.
When we are tired, overwhelmed, or exhausted, we do not always have the capacity to handle things well.
That is not the time to make big decisions.
That is not the time to solve everything that has been emotionally piling up all week.
Sometimes the wisest thing you can do is pause the conversation instead of rushing to talk about it right now.
You can simply say:
“This can wait until tomorrow.”
Because some conversations are not too difficult to have.
They are just happening at the wrong time.
Tip 3: Watch your words
When we are tired, we are more vulnerable to saying things we do not actually want to say.
We are more vulnerable to speaking negatively.
To responding harshly.
To using a tone that hurts.
To unloading our exhaustion on people who are not responsible for it.
When you feel tired and notice your tone becoming negative, aggressive, or heavy, sometimes the wisest thing to say is nothing at all.
Look, we have God. We can pray to Him.
We have notebooks. Take a notebook. Write down how you feel. Process it.
And leave it there for a moment.
It is better to mark a page than to negatively mark the life of someone you love.
Tip 4: Rest in a way that actually helps
Sleep helps, but sleep is not always easy. I have a hard time taking naps, so “just go to sleep” does not always work for me.
But something I do when I feel overwhelmed is disconnect.
Put on music.
Walk around the house and pray.
Breathe deeply.
Sit in a rocking chair in silence.
We do not always need to take that expensive vacay to rest.
Sometimes we need to create ONE small moment where both the body and mind can understand:
“I am not letting myself get into survival mode, I am responding to my cry.”
These things are simple and sound pretty to say, but the test is to apply them.
It is honestly so brave to simply recognize our cry for rest.
But do not let tiredness get to the point of being overtired, because when we get there, it is still possible to return to rest, but it becomes much harder.
Create those rhythms of rest.
Practice them before tiredness comes, so when it does, you do not automatically end up with the phone in your hand, scrolling, looking for rest in something that is really just keeping you more busy inside.
I don’t think being tired makes you weak.
It makes you human.
And I believe there is strength reflected within the tiredness we face, IF we choose to attend to it with wisdom.
So pay attention to those signals.
Lower the noise.
Have the conversation tomorrow.
Protect your words.
Look for real rest.
Come on, you got this!
Dani
